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GOAT IMPORTATION ORDERED BY OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

IT HAS JUST BEEN LEARNED THAT THOSE IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION HAVE SECRETLY ORDERED THE IMPORTATION OF SOME 1,000,000 MILLION PAPER-EATING KENYAN GOATS TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO 856 FEDERAL FACILITIES ACROSS THE NATION.  THIS REPORT CLAIMS THAT DUE TO A GOVERNMENT RUN ON "PAPER SHREDDERS" AND THE EXTREME SHORTAGE CAUSED BY THIS UNUSUAL DEMAND, THIS WAS A NECESSARY MOVE TO MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF FEDERAL INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS THE VA, IRS, HHS, DOJ AND OTHER VITAL FEDERAL DEPARTMENTS.  BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN CLAIMED BY SOME REACTIONARY RIGHT WING GROUPS THAT MANY FEDERAL WORKER'S ARE SUFFERING FROM "BROWN FINGER SYNDROME".  A CONDITION, ACCORDING TO THOSE UNAMERICAN GROUPS, THAT IS BROUGHT ON MY GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRATS  WALKING AROUND WITH A FINGER UP THERE BUTT.  HELPING TO FOSTER THIS LIE ARE ERRONEOUS REPORTS THAT MANY VA DOCTORS ARE SEEING ONLY 2 PATIENTS A DAY.  OF COURSE, ANY TRUE PATRIOT WHO HAS HAD OCCASION TO VISIT ANY GOVERNMENT OFFICE KNOWS THIS IS NOT TRUE AND THAT ALL BUREAUCRATS OFFER PROMPT AND COURTEOUS SERVICE TO THE PUBLIC, FULLY AWARE THAT AFTER ALL WE ARE THE ONES WHO PAY THEM.  SO IN AN ATTEMPT TO DIVERT THIS VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY, PRESIDENT OBAMA IS ORDERING THE DESTRUCTION OF ALL RECORDS THAT MIGHT BE USED TO DISCREDIT THE INTEGRITY OF OUR FEDERAL BUREAUCRACY. 
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