PRESIDENT OBAMA'S HALF-UNCLE, ONYANGO "OMAR" OBAMA, AND HIS AUNTIE, ZEITUNI ONYANGO, ARE MISSING AND RUMORS ABOUT THEIR FATE ARE RAMPANT ACROSS THE NATION AND AROUND THE WORLD. THE LEADING NEWSPAPER, "THE PYONGYANG TIMES" IN THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF NORTH KOREA HAS REPORTED THAT THE UNSUSPECTING COUPLE HAS BEEN FED TO THE WHITE HOUSE DOGS (BO AND SUNNY) IN A SECRET ROOM BELOW THE OVAL OFFICE. WITH SOME OF HIS 300 CZARS AND CLOSE MEMBERS OF THE STAFF BEING FORCED TO WATCH AS THE TWO LARGE VICIOUS PORTUGUESE WATER DOGS DEVOURED THE SCREAMING COUPLE. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE PRESIDENT HAS LONG BEEN EMBARRASSED BY THE ACTIVES OF HIS AUNTIE AND UNCLE DURING THEIR ILLEGAL STAY IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE THEY SPONGED OFF WELFARE, HEALTHCARE, AND FREE PUBLIC HOUSING BY USING MULTIPLE NAMES AND ADDRESSES AND THEREBY TARNISHING THE IMPECCABLE, STELLAR REPUTATION OF THE PRESIDENT. ACCORDING TO THE PYONGYANG TIMES, PRESIDENT OBAMA HAD FINALLY HAD ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF THE TWO AS A WARNING TO ALL WHO WOULD DARE TO INSULT HIM BY SULLYING HIS SHINING EXAMPLE TO THE MASSES IN THIS COUNTRY. AT THIS TIME THE REPORTS COMING FROM PYONGYANG CANNOT BE CONFIRMED. BUT WITH UNCLE ONYANGO AND AUNTIE ZEITUNI STILL MISSING THE MYSTERY SURROUNDING THEIR FATE REMAINS.
Thanks to The Peoples Cube for the idea behind this post. If you have never visited THE CUBE please take a look----great satire!
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