FOLLOWING THE MURDER OF 4 U.S. MARINES IN CHATTANOOGA BY A MISGUIDED YOUNG MAN, OUR DEAR LEADER WILL TAKE DECISIVE ACTION TO ASSURE THAT SUCH AN ACT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. BARACK "HIMSELF" OBAMA WILL SIGN A EXECUTIVE ORDER TODAY MANDATING THAT ALL "GUN FREE ZONE" SIGNS BE DOUBLED IN SIZE AND BE WRITTEN IN BOTH ENGLISH AND ARABIC.
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