Washington Attacked by Brain-eating Zombies

BREAKING NEWS:  THE ATTACK OF THE BRAIN-EATING ZOMBIES ON WASHINGTON HAS FAILED.  ZOMBIE LEADERS HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED THEY ARE WITHDRAWING FROM THE NATIONS CAPITAL CONFIRMING WHAT MANY ZOMBIE LEADERS HAD EARLIER SAID.  "THIS ATTACK WAS A FRUITLESS EFFORT IN THAT THE SUPPLY OF BRAINS IN WASHINGTON WAS LIMITED TO ONLY A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE POPULATION".  RECENT ESTIMATES THAT ONLY ABOUT 1% OF WASHINGTON RESIDENTS POSSESS ENOUGH "GREY MATTER" FOR A DECENT MEAL HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED AS MANY OF THE ZOMBIE ARMY ARE DYING FROM STARVATION ON THE BATTLE FIELDS IN AND AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE AND CAPITAL.  IN ADDITIONAL NEWS FROM ACROSS THE NATION, THE ATTACKS ON THE MAJOR UNIVERSITIES HAVE ALSO CEASED FOR THE SAME REASON.  THE ZOMBIES ARE NOW CONCENTRATING THEIR ATTACKS ON THE MANY SURVIVALIST CAMPS AROUND THE COUNTRY, BUT ARE BEING MET BY FIERCE RESISTANCE FROM THE WELL-ARMED OCCUPANTS OF THESE ISOLATED OUTPOST.  MEANWHILE THE MINDLESS MADNESS CONTINUES IN THE CAPITAL AND ON CAMPUSES ACROSS AMERICA.