Venezuelan Socialist have raised that nations Minimum wage by 60 Fold

Following the efforts of progressives in America to raise the minimum wage to a mere $15 dollars an hour, Venezuelan socialist have one-upped their gringo cousins to the north by raising the minimum wage in that peoples paradise to a whopping 3 million Bolivares per month.  Viva Socialism!  Viva Venezuela!

Following this unprecedented increase in the people's minimum wage it must be noted that the cost of a dozen eggs in that worker's paradise has dropped to only 1500 Bolivares ($150 in U.S. dollars.  Viva Socialism!  With the average cost of a dozen eggs in the U.S. being about $1.49 per dozen Americans are able to purchase 101 dozen eggs for virtually the same price as the glorious citizens of the People's State of Venezuela pay for 1 dozen.  Viva Capitalism!!! 

New Species of Roach discovered that lays it's eggs in Human Ears while they sleep

After months of investigation by a renown team of scientist, they have just announced a shocking discovery of a new species of roach that lays it's eggs in the ear of human beings while they sleep.  For some reason that remains a mystery, the roaches seem to be concentrated in New York State and the West Coast regions of the nation.  After the eggs of the Penplaneta Tweetous (name given the new discovery) hatch in the victim, the infected person suffers a severe loss of vocabulary and is only able to speak several short phrases and words.  Inexplicably the words in all those infected seem to be the same:  "Russia Russia Russia and Impeach".

After a lengthy search the CDC has determined that the source of this mind-altering critter in on the second floor of a building located at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Washington D.C. and occurs only in the early morning hours when it appears to be most active.

Trump Tweets just drive some people crazy.  #MAGA