Venezuela solves Starvation problem by making it Mandatory to buy Food

The benevolent socialist leaders of Venezuela have determined the only humane way of solving the escalating starvation problem is to mandate that citizens buy food.  El Presidente, Nicolas Maduro, remaining true to his Marxist inspired roots has decided that only he and his fellow-travelers have the solution to that nations current situation.  After all, only true socialist have the answer.  And in this case, the government will mandate that all citizens buy food and stop listening to the reactionary voices of doom and gloom coming from the gringos to the north.  

Weight Watchers Anonymous to open new World Headquarter in Caracas, Venezuela

Although the United Nations has refused to recognize Venezuela's growing reputation as the weight-loss capital of the globe; because of that organization's domination by the "people's socialist states of the world.  Nevertheless, Weight Watchers Anonymous will open it's new headquarter there.  With the new improved motto of "Lose weight the old fashion way, one empty spoon at a time!"  For obvious reasons officials of this oil rich socialist nation in Caracas have been reluctant to approve the paper work needed for Weight Watchers to begin construction on their new corporate headquarters.