Harvard University has banned male neckties on campus, calling them a symbol of chauvinism and hate speech

Harvard University has written a new dress code that defines ties, a traditional male dress accessory, as a symbol of oppression, chauvinism, and hate speech. The decision came after a women's rights group petitioned the school board to ban neckties after the group claimed that students have been triggered by seeing such a “flamboyant and offensive” micro-aggression carried around even by their own professors. 

Immediately after the board’s decision, a mass email was sent to all students and faculty of the new dress code stating that if the new policy was disobeyed it could bring about “serious consequences” including expulsion. In the email it expressed the belief that a man wearing a tie is just as offensive if not more so than a white man in black face.  More....

Remains of Harvard Professor found on Mount Kilimanjaro

After providing their favorite liberal professor with an all expense paid safari to Kenya the students at the Harvard  Campus Conservative Club have been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Trump.  This prestigious honor was bestowed on the Clubs 3 members for their above and beyond humanitarian efforts in assisting their distraught teacher overcome his grief brought on by the election of Donald Trump!  When asked how they felt about receiving the nation's highest civilian award the three replied, "we only wish we could have done more.  Next time, we'll try and send at least a dozen of more of our deserving professors on this life-changing adventure."

And for those morbid souls who are wondering what book the deserving professor was reading when he came face to face with the real world.  Well, that remains somewhat of a mystery because two books were found among the remains at the campsite---one was Karl Marx's, Das Kapital and the other Barack Obama's, Dreams from my Father.