According to a Tel Aviv based psychic – an ISIS jihadist who died in a suicide mission is now insisting he be resurrected after contracting an STD from one of the ‘virgins’ he slept with in paradise.
“He is totally depressed: despite being promised 72 bona fide virgins, his penis and anus are now covered in painful sores, and peeing is an utter nightmare.,” The martyred jihadi “feels tricked and humiliated, and is demands that Allah resurrect him.” Adding insult to injury, “there are no STD clinics in Islamic heaven, meaning he may be condemned to eternal pissfire.”
Following extensive news coverage of the ISIS jihadist, we shall call him 'Mohammad Smith' at the request of his shamed parents. An ISIS-affiliated Twitter account accused Mohammad of making up the entire story saying: “Steadfast warriors of Islam, do not believe this lying faux jihadist” In response, Mohammad replied: “Honestly, why would I make this up? You think I enjoy being woken up every night by my oozing penile sores. Enough already!”
Thanks to The Mideast Beast
Following extensive news coverage of the ISIS jihadist, we shall call him 'Mohammad Smith' at the request of his shamed parents. An ISIS-affiliated Twitter account accused Mohammad of making up the entire story saying: “Steadfast warriors of Islam, do not believe this lying faux jihadist” In response, Mohammad replied: “Honestly, why would I make this up? You think I enjoy being woken up every night by my oozing penile sores. Enough already!”
Thanks to The Mideast Beast
