Brain-Eating Zombies Launch Vicious Attacks on Conservative Strongholds across America

ZOMBIE ATTACK ON CONSERVATIVE STRONGHOLD

REPORTS HAVE BEEN COMING IN ACROSS AMERICA OF BRAIN-EATING ZOMBIES ATTACKING SMALL TOWNS AND RURAL AREAS.  STRANGELY ONLY SPORADIC ATTACKS HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN THE LARGE URBAN CITIES WITH NONE OCCURRING IN WASHINGTON AND SAN FRANCISCO.  BOTH THE EAST COAST AND WEST COAST ARE ONLY REPORTING SPARSE INCURSIONS BY THESE BRAIN-EATING CREATURES.  HOWEVER REPORTS COMING OUT OF FLY-OVER COUNTRY HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THOUSANDS FROM OUR GREAT UNIVERSITIES HAVE  FLOCKED TO THE "ZOMBIE BANNER".

THE REASON FOR THIS IS NO LONGER A MYSTERY.  IT NOW APPEARS THAT CERTAIN ELEMENTS OF THE GENERAL POPULATION ARE IMMUNE FROM THESE VICIOUS ATTACKS. 

APPARENTLY THESE BRAIN-LOVING ZOMBIES SEE LITTLE BENEFIT IN ATTACKING MINDLESS INDIVIDUALS, AS THEY DO NOT VIEW THEM AS A FOOD SOURCE AND ARE WELCOMING  BRAINLESS ACADEMICS AND PROGRESSIVE LIBERALS TO THEIR GROWING RANKS.  AT THIS TIME IT IS ALSO BEING REPORTED THAT ISRAEL'S CABINET HAS BEEN CALLED INTO SESSION WITH PRIME MINISTER, BIBI NETANYAHU, CALLING FOR A NUCLEAR STRIKE OF THE LEAST EFFECTED AREAS IN THE UNITED STATES.  AN ATTACK THAT WOULD BEGIN ON WASHINGTON D.C. USING THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE AS GROUND ZERO.   

Washington Attacked by Brain-eating Zombies

BREAKING NEWS:  THE ATTACK OF THE BRAIN-EATING ZOMBIES ON WASHINGTON HAS FAILED.  ZOMBIE LEADERS HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED THEY ARE WITHDRAWING FROM THE NATIONS CAPITAL CONFIRMING WHAT MANY ZOMBIE LEADERS HAD EARLIER SAID.  "THIS ATTACK WAS A FRUITLESS EFFORT IN THAT THE SUPPLY OF BRAINS IN WASHINGTON WAS LIMITED TO ONLY A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE POPULATION".  RECENT ESTIMATES THAT ONLY ABOUT 1% OF WASHINGTON RESIDENTS POSSESS ENOUGH "GREY MATTER" FOR A DECENT MEAL HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED AS MANY OF THE ZOMBIE ARMY ARE DYING FROM STARVATION ON THE BATTLE FIELDS IN AND AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE AND CAPITAL.  IN ADDITIONAL NEWS FROM ACROSS THE NATION, THE ATTACKS ON THE MAJOR UNIVERSITIES HAVE ALSO CEASED FOR THE SAME REASON.  THE ZOMBIES ARE NOW CONCENTRATING THEIR ATTACKS ON THE MANY SURVIVALIST CAMPS AROUND THE COUNTRY, BUT ARE BEING MET BY FIERCE RESISTANCE FROM THE WELL-ARMED OCCUPANTS OF THESE ISOLATED OUTPOST.  MEANWHILE THE MINDLESS MADNESS CONTINUES IN THE CAPITAL AND ON CAMPUSES ACROSS AMERICA.

Zombies in the City

ZOMBIES IN THE CITIES IS NOTHING NEW.  THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS ALWAYS DEPENDED ON THE MINDLESS MASSES IN THE CENTRAL CITY AREA TO CARRY THE DAY.  THE BLOOD SUCKING LIBERALS HAS  ENTICED THE METRO MASSES WITH ENTITLEMENTS AND DREAMS OF SOMETHING FOR NOTHING AND THE EASY LIFE OF A ROCKING CHAIR ON THE FRONT PORCH.  IF YOU WANT THE EASY LIFE AND THAT FRONT PORCH SWING WITHOUT LIFTING A FINGER VOTE FOR OBAMA AND HIS GANG!  BUT IF ON  THE OTHER HAND YOU SEE THE TRUTH AND REALIZE THAT SUCH A THING IS UNSUSTAINABLE VOTE OR MITT ROMENY.

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