Zombie Flag Raised over California Capital in Sacramento

WITH THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE ACHIEVING IT'S CROWNING VICTORY NEAR MUD BAYOU, WHERE A HEROIC FORCE OF SOME 10,000 WALKING DEAR OVER-RAN A COWARDLY 5 MEMBER GROUP OF THE INDIVIDUALIST GOOD OLE BOYS OF THE DUCK DYNASTY CLAN WHILE ONLY SUFFERING 90% CAUSALITIES. SIMILAR SMASHING VICTORIES WERE ALSO WON OVER OTHER DIE-HARD REACTIONARY CONSERVATIVE GROUPS. THE FREE-LOADING BRAIN-EATING ZOMBIES CELEBRATED THEIR TRIUMPHS BY RAISING THE ZOMBIE FLAG OVER THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION IN SACRAMENTO. MEANWHILE MILLIONS OF DUMB COLLECTIVIST LOW GRAY-MATTER AMERICANS JAMMED THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO AND LOS ANGLES TO SALUTE THEIR NEW NATION UNDER MINDLESS ZOMBIES. A NATION DEDICATED TO THE PROPOSITION THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED TO BE SERVED TO THEIR ZOMBIE MASTERS.

FOLLOWING THE EXCITEMENT OF THEIR VICTORY ZOMBIE LEADERS INVITED GOVERNOR JERRY BROWN, THEIR PUPPET,  WHO HAD SUPPORTED THE ZOMBIE REVOLUTION FROM IT'S INCEPTION, TO A MEETING OF THE UNDEAD CABINET. HOWEVER IT SUDDENLY BECAME APPARENT TO  SOME CABINET MEMBERS THAT WITH THE DEATH OF THE VAST MIDDLE CLASS BRAIN RICH AMERICANS THE ZOMBIE HORDES WOULD HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR THEIR SUSTENANCE OR PERISH. THE NEW CABINET VOTED UNANIMOUSLY TO RAISE TAXES, LOWER THE FOOD STANDARDS  AND ALLOW THE HARVESTING OF COLLEGE STUDENTS AND SOME SELECT POLITICIANS DESPITE THE POOR QUALITY OF THEIR GREY MATTER. THIS, OF COURSE, WAS ONLY A STOP-GAP MEASURE, WHICH WOULD HAVE TO BE EXPANDED IN TIME TO ASSURE ALL WOULD BE EQUALLY POOR IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN AN ADEQUATE FOOD SUPPLY FOR GROWING ZOMBIE MASSES. GOVERNOR (MOONBEAM) BROWN SUDDENLY TURNED WHITER, A FACT   HE HAD BEEN TRYING TO HIDE FROM HIS CONSTITUENTS SINCE HIS EARLY DAYS IN PUBLIC OFFICE.  AS THE GOVERNOR WITNESSED THE VOTE---REALITY FINALLY SUNK IN.  THE SICKENING REALITY THAT HE AND HIS WOULD IN TIME BECOME BECOME THE MAIN COURSE FOR THOSE WHOSE CAUSE HE HAD CHAMPIONED.   SUCH IS THE FATE OF ALL TYRANTS WHO ARE, IN THE END, DEVOURED BY OWN THEIR CREATION.