Houston Saved

Phew! It has been a busy day, but worth it. Thanks to me, Houston is now saved and everything is A-Okay. 

I knew that I had to do something for all these poor people who are getting flooded out, so this morning when I was waiting in line for my free-range chai latte with soy and bran muffin made with fair trade canasta grain, I made sure that everybody at the coffee shop knew that Hurricane Harvey was a direct result of that moron Trump pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord.

Some guy tried to argue with me, but I called him a fascist and that shut HIM up. 

After breakfast I hooked up with K-dogg and Sunshine and Fashie-Bashie and we all went down to the park and raised awareness by chanting "Hey-HEY! Ho-HO! Trump's Hurricane has got to GO!" for about half an hour before we got bored. 

I think this one kid over in the sand box was a fascist because he kept ignoring us and playing with a bucket and giggling, but Sunshine stomped on his bucket and broke it while we ran away. Who's laughing now, you Little Hitler? 

We went to MacDonald's for lunch (even though they are like THE avatar for corporate oppression) because they have free WiFi and I re-tweeted a bunch of stuff about how stupid that Hungarian slut Trump married is for wearing high heels when she left the White House to fly down to Texas and get her picture taken like she cares about anybody but herself. Then I saw this thing on Facebook where Linda Sarsour is calling for people to donate to this really cool Hurricane Relief Fund that will help out the people in Houston. It's called the Texas Organizing Project, and they're going to hold rallies and protests about how unfair Trump is DOWN IN TEXAS! Right in the middle of the floods! 

This is really important, because a lot of the people down there are not aware that most of the money the Republicans will put into Houston is going to go to rich white people and corporate fat cats. They need somebody down there to hold up signs denouncing FEMA racism! I posted her link on my Facebook Wall and tweeted the link to like everybody. I even started telling people in MacDonald's about it, but the manager made us leave after I slapped a cup of coffee out some bitch's hand for ignoring me. She made like she was going to hit me with her cane and I was going to mace her, but the place was full of a bunch of guys that looked like storm troopers, so we left. 

We went over to Fashie-Bashie's place and his mom had some two-tone ribbon that was blue on one side and brown on the other, and Sunshine said it looked like flood water with mud in it, so we made up a batch of Hurricane Flood Awareness Ribbons to show that we're solid with the people down in Houston. 

We got your backs, guys, and we're thinking about how tough it must be and how unfair it is and we really feel bad about it. We know Trump didn't show enough empathy for you. They said so on CNN. Well, we got that covered!   Read more.....
 
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