Mueller set to reveal Evidence of Trump-Russian Collusion following DNA analysis

Somewhere deep in the bowels of the J. Edgar Hoover Building (FBI Headquarters) in Washington champagne corks are popping as Special Counsel Robert Mueller is set to release proof that President Donald Trump not only colluded with Russia but had sexual relations with an undercover Russian agent. Deep state sources in the Special Counsel's office have reveled, some years ago citizen Trump spent the evening with a Brighton Beach (Little Odessa) 'Lady of the Evening' while Melania was visiting relatives in her native Slovenia. Unbeknown to her superiors at the Kremlin ,this female Russian agent aka Hooker kept the Blue Stained Dress she wore in her brief tete-a-tete with Donald Trump a secret.  A secret she only just revealed to the Deep State employees of Robert Mueller in the Justice Department.  Of course, the Blue Dress along with the details of this salacious rendezvous in Trump Tower were not freely given, but were only provided to the FBI after the government deposited some $3,000,000 to a numbered Swiss Bank Account of American tax-payer dollars.  

Details of what some are calling The Great anti-Trump Coup are just emerging.  After buying the relatively inexpensive dress (by government standards) for only $2,500 per sq. inch, samples of the questionable stain were forwarded to "23 and Me" for analysis.  While at the same time an heroic undercover Deep State Operative, FBI agent was able to penetrate The Kremlin West aka Trump's White House and obtain a sample of the President's DNA  from his 'double dip ice cream bowl' while attending that most repugnant of all events, The White House Christmas Party.

After analysis of the stained dress and over-sized ice cream bowl were revealed uncontrolled cheers could be heard coming from the Hoover Building.  Seems that not only did the DNA from the dress and bowl match, but after the comparison with an old sample of Vladimir Putin's DNA, '23 and Me' confirmed that there is a 99.999 % probability that Trump and Putin are 2nd cousins twice removed.. 

by Ron Russell  

Cross-posted at TOTUS