Study shows NFL protests linked to brain damage

A groundbreaking new study by Mayo Clinic’s leading neurologist, Dr. Terrence Lachance, has shown results indicating a link between brain damage and compulsive unwarranted protesting. This news, in light of recent protests by NFL players, seems to be making sense to a lot of people, while leaving others dumbfounded. 

“My study conclusively shows that over time, repeated blows to the head, injuries that could be sustained from playing a sport like football, severely depreciates the logic facilities in the brain,” says Dr. Lachance. “Once I noticed this, I immediately had to reach out to leading behavioral psychologists to further dissect this phenomenon.” 

“Now that we understand that these players don’t have the mental capacity to fully understand complex issues, we can see why they might want to protest,” agreed the American Psychological Association’s leading psychologist Dr. Lara Feinstein. 

“They (football players) make egregious amounts of money for nothing more than God-given talent and the right physical training," said Dr. Feinstein. "They are then put on a national stage and made to believe they are truly special and important so that they perform better on the field. We now know that while they may be fantastic football players, their ability to comment on socioeconomic politics is severely lacking.” 

When asked for a statement, Roger Goodell declined to comment apart from a cease and desist letter we were handed, insisting we not publish this story.  Read more.....

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