Beware of the Zombie King (How to survive an undead world)

UNLIKE YOUR TRADITIONAL ZOMBIE WHO MUST BITE YOU IN ORDER TO TRANSFER THE UNDEAD MADNESS, THE ZOMBIE KING NEEDS ONLY TO OPEN HIS MOUTH AND LOOK YOU IN THE EYES TO MAKE YOU PART OF THE UNFEELING, AND TOTALLY BRAINLESS ZOMBIE WORLD.  MILLIONS HAVE BEEN INFECTED IN THIS COUNTRY AND AROUND THE WORLD, BUT PERHAPS A SIMPLE COMPUTER GLITCH HAS GIVEN US A CURE TO THIS RUN-A-WAY INSANITY.

We guarantee this is the only tool you need to survive the zombie apocalypse. OK, that’s not really true. But when the SHTF you’re going to want a survival guide that’s not just geared toward day-to-day survival. You’ll need one that addresses the essential skills for true nourishment of the human spirit. Living through the end of the world isn’t worth a damn unless you can enjoy yourself in any way you want. (Except, of course, for anything having to do with abuse. We could never condone such things. At least the publisher’s lawyers say we can’t.) We can’t guarantee this guide will save your life. But we can guarantee it will keep you smiling while the living dead are chowing down on you. “This book means I’ll Never Have to wipe myself with a leaf during the apocalypse.” —well known zombie survival guide author “I now have six patients suffering from PTSD because of this book.” —some psychiatrist “I couldn’t put it down... Mostly because it was glued to my hands.” —victim 17 “This book is now on our ‘Required Reading’ list.” —guard at Guantanamo Bay “Amused and terrified. How are the writers not in prison for this?” —random person that was handed the book with a note that read ‘review within 24 hours or your kitten dies’ GET THIS BOOK

 

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RON RUSSELL