JUAN VALDEZ FLEES NORTH AFTER HIS COFFEE BEAN FIELDS ARE DESTROYED BY THE RAVENOUS MONTEZUMA BEETLE

After years of scratching out a meager living on the rocky slopes of a mountain in his native country.  Juan has packed his sh*t and headed toward the northern promised land of Donald Trump.  The indigenous ’Montezuma Beetle’ was the final straw.  Apparently, the citizens of ’Juan Land’ , after battling the horrific effects of the Montezuma Beetle for thousands of years have yet to discover insecticides. Insecticides that would snuff out the carriers of rampant political corruption, Keynesian if not outright Marxist socialism, and banana republic dictators.   Yes Juan and thousands more are fleeing north to escape a monster of their own making.   Unlike the patriots on the greens at Lexington and Concord they turn and run at the mere sight of Brown Bess and Redcoat.  In fact, they are cowards in their own land.  And who see the USA as a mother hen who will spread her wings over the brood and provide them with safety and sustenance.   But what Juan and his band have yet to grasp is that Trump Land has created a massive quarantine zone across it’s southern border and will no longer grant entry to those infected with the Montezuma Beetle.  Sorry Juan, but hit the road Jack and don’t come back no more. #MagA