Remains of Harvard Professor found on Mount Kilimanjaro

After providing their favorite liberal professor with an all expense paid safari to Kenya the students at the Harvard  Campus Conservative Club have been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Trump.  This prestigious honor was bestowed on the Clubs 3 members for their above and beyond humanitarian efforts in assisting their distraught teacher overcome his grief brought on by the election of Donald Trump!  When asked how they felt about receiving the nation's highest civilian award the three replied, "we only wish we could have done more.  Next time, we'll try and send at least a dozen of more of our deserving professors on this life-changing adventure."

And for those morbid souls who are wondering what book the deserving professor was reading when he came face to face with the real world.  Well, that remains somewhat of a mystery because two books were found among the remains at the campsite---one was Karl Marx's, Das Kapital and the other Barack Obama's, Dreams from my Father.