Monday

Trump will scrap Border Wall in favor of Gator Filled Moat

This is a story long overdue. Dateline El Paso, Texas: ground will soon be broke on a new border security project. This will entail digging a 2000 mile long medieval moat 15 feet deep and 100 feet wide from Brownsville, Texas to San Diego, Ca. The dirt from the massive trench will be trucked to New Orleans and used to raise the hundreds of miles of levees surrounding that city. Additionally, once the trench is filled with water an estimated 200,000 alligators will be relocated from Florida (where they have become a nuisance) to the 2,000 mile long moat. This massive project will not only solve the border problem, but the Florida alligator problem, and the levee problem of New Orleans.  Ground breaking for this massive project will occur shortly after the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States.  The ceremony will be attended by former presidents Bill Clinton, H.W. Bush, and G.W. Bush. Former president Barack H. Obama, who is expected to be living in exile in Kenya at the time of the ground breaking ceremony will not be in attendance. 
When asked about his decision to build the moat instead of the wall, President elect Trump replied with a wall those managing to slip across the border would have to be arrested and detained by the Border Patrol.  But with the moat, armed with Florida gators, detentions would be a thing of the past as border agents will be given leaky canoes to provide to those illegals for their return trip south.   

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