Obama to return to his Roots in wake of Donald Trump Victory

Many of the Hollywood elite had promised to leave America should their worst nightmare (the election of Donald Trump) come true.  It is being reported that none on this extensive list have made any airline reservations at this time and observers at LAX international airport have noticed no appreciable increase in private Lear Jet traffic leaving the facility. 

However, sources inside the West Wing have over heard muffled voices among the staff discussing, soon to be former President Obama's secret post Trump inauguration plan, which includes a trip to a remote Kenyan village on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro.  Villager's there are said to be preparing a warm welcome for the return of their prodigal son.  It appears, that the enthusiasm for the arrival of this ex-patriot has only grown since the rumors are flying that Barack is a "slow runner" --it must be his white half.  It should be noted that the villagers hold slow runners in a exalted position in the tribal hierarchy and  provided them with only the best cuisine---much like that of the fatted calf of biblical times---oops! 

Footnote:  You don't have to be the fastest runner to escape the lion, just not the slowest!