A Little British Humor

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer $100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .

Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,

How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"