A BIG EGO AND A BIG MOUTH!
NOTHING ELSE BIG HERE!
Saturday
Friday
Tequila---Friday's Joke
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in
the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an
idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart
of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but,
your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few
more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in
the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an
idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart
of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but,
your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few
more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"
Thursday
A Real Black Hole
FOREIGN AID---WE ARE BROKE
AND GIVING PEOPLE SOMETHING USUALLY DOESN'T HELP THEM.
IT NORMALLY ONLY LINES THE POCKETS OF CORRUPT PUBLIC OFFICIALS
IN MOST THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES.
Sunday
Public Service Workers Oppressed By The Tax Payers
 |
| Cartoon by Chip Bok |
Who picks up the tab for lavish retirement benefits??
Yep, you guessed it, you the taxpayers of America!
Time for a change.
Time to reign in these public unions, we just can't afford them any longer!
H/T to Townhall
Friday
Col. Qaddafi
 |
| Cartoon by Ken Catalino |
I wonder if there is a good guy in this fight!
Only time will tell, but to the victor belong the spoils of war.
H/T to Townhall Cartoons